idealawg

Degrees of wisdom: What if the mediator and the parties are not equally wise?

If there is a mismatch of wisdom between the parties and the mediator or among the parties, the process may clash and burn. However unless you know a bit about the characteristics of wisdom, you may not recognize that this kind of clashing instead of matching is the problem.

We have been creating a method of assessing cognitive development matches and clashes in mediation (both between parties and between parties and the conflict professional) and I have been happily surprised to see in my research how closely aligned cognitive development is with wisdom. They share such characteristics as the ability to take multiple perspectives; comfort with uncertainty and ambiguity; strength of analysis and conclusion; degree of self-awareness; and patience, presence and poise when an answer is not immediately evident.

For those of you interested in wisdom, I recommend an article by one of the top wisdom researchers Monika Ardelt. From "How Wise People Cope with Crises and Obstacles in Life" (ReVision - citations omitted):

Wisdom is often believed to be the quintessence of successful human development. Wise people are considered to be exceptionally mature, integrated, satisfied with life, able to make decisions in difficult and uncertain life matters, and capable of dealing with any crisis and obstacle that they encounter. in fact, successfully coping with crises and hardships in life might not only be a hallmark of wise individuals but also one of the pathways to wisdom. According to Pascuale-Leone, ". . . ultimate limit situations that cannot be undone and are nonetheless faced with consciousness and resolve—situations like death, illness, aging, irremedial oppression or loss, extreme poverty, rightful resistance or rebellion, guilt, absolute failure, danger uncontrollable fear, etc. lead to the natural emergence of a transcendental self, if they do not destroy the person first."

...

The cognitive wisdom dimension represents a deep and clear understanding of life and the desire to know the significance and deeper meaning of life, particularly as it relates to intrapersonal and interpersonal phenomena and events. That requires knowledge and acceptance of the positive and negative aspects of human nature, of the inherent limits of knowledge, and of life's unpredictability and uncertainties. However, a deep and unbiased understanding of life is only possible after one "has seen through illusion" and transcended one's subjectivity and projections to perceive reality as it is. That is the task of the reflective wisdom dimension. ...

In addition to the cognitive, Dr. Ardelt also breaks wisdom into reflective and affective elements, as you will see in her article. Click to read the rest. More here.

If there is a mismatch in the mediation room between degrees of wisdom, the results can be counterproductive at best. When one or more of the parties is wiser than

More fun with games and clients

After I posted my blog entry here yesterday, I watched an excellent video about how games can improve lives emotionally, mentally, physically and socially. In this presentation, Jane McGonigal talks about the five regrets people most commonly have on their deathbeds and says that those regrets are the opposite of how people's lives change when they have grown stronger as a result of experiencing trauma (posttraumatic growth). She believes the characteristics on the latter list can be encouraged by participating in certain kinds of games. And she tells the story of how creating a game helped her to overcome a severe concussion (subsequently creating Superbetter). Finally, she effectively demonstrates four ways to increase resilience.

The reasons she puts forth for participating in games are directly related to what many of us hope for in our clients (and ourselves):

• tackling tough challenges with high creativity, determination, and optimism
• reaching out to others for collaboration

If you could foster those benefits in others (typically while they are having fun), would you? Have you thought about games as one method of client service? Do you use games with your clients? If not, why?

Gamification* is more than badges or graphs, of course. The principle of personal choice (mentioned in yesterday's post), both in the goals and the methods for getting to the goals, is an important factor in what separates the superficial, badge-based from the sophic, deeply skilled use of gamification. But it is not as easy to design the customizable games because one can't use the Procrustean approach. That's why I admire people like McGonigal who incorporate the customization component in their design process. Not as easy but much more likely to benefit the player for a long time after the playing is over.

No surprise: The player probably has more fun with the wisely designed game, too.

Note: The lists of deathbed regrets and characteristics of posttraumatic growth as presented by McGonigal were summarized at the Viral Media Lab:

Top 5 regrets shared at the end of life:
“I wish I hadn’t work so hard”
“I wish I’d stay in touch with my friends”
“I wish I had let myself be happier”
“I wish I had the courage to express my true self”
“I wish I’d led a life true to my dreams, and not what others expected of me”

Post-Traumatic Growth:
...
1. My priorities have changed – I’m not afraid to do what makes me happy
2. I feel closer to my friends and family.
3. I understand myself better, I know who I really am now.
4. I have a new sense of meaning and purpose.
5. I’m better able to focus on my goals and dreams.

*(Added later on November 24, 2103) Gamification may not be the best word to use. Here's what

Will playing games help you and your clients achieve goals (while perhaps having fun)?

Because I believe the principles of gamification can be used to motivate clients to complete tasks necessary to the effective and personalized handling of their legal matters or conflicts, I have been slowly researching the ways games are created and designed. Two recent events came together in such a way that I am now wholly reinspired to master gaming—soon.

First was reading the book The Game of Work by Charles Coonradt, one of the original gurus of taking what works in games and applying that to work. (He's been called the grandfather of gamification.) Coonradt believes there are five principles that are the basis of the transfer of success and motivation seen in the game arena to work:

1. Clearly defined goals
2. Scorekeeping and scorecards
3. Frequent feedback (and he adds that the impact of the feedback is greater if illustrated on charts and graphs)
4. Personal choice of methods
5. Consistent coaching

Other gurus of gamification present lists of principles that are a bit different. After reading some of those gurus, I think the principles I find most compelling are: clearly defined goals, frequent feedback, and personal choice. More about those in a minute . . .

The second event that increased my commitment to learning gamification was coming upon Mediator in a Box, a tool created by a Colorado lawyer Clare Sprowell and her sister Marla Sloan, a conflict coach who lives in British Columbia. From what I can see at their Website and in this article, they have made conflict resolution into a box game. A creative idea! I don't know if they include the principles of gamification in the design but their concept sparked my imagination about applying gamification to transactional areas of the law.

In order to gamify a process, whether it be writing a will, estate planning, exercising, or drinking more water, one needs to have clear goals. The thinking required to clarify the intention or objective is a big advantage in achievement, and a necessary ingredient in a game. If I

What's the value of nostalgia? What (and how) are you remembering these days?

Some new research on nostalgia is getting a lot of media coverage. For some reason, the topic of nostalgia seems particularly fitting to me as we approach the holiday season. If you have an interest in nostalgia, here are some links for you.

First here's the Abstract from the study getting attention in the news: "Nostalgia as a Resource for Psychological Health and Well-Being"  (Social and Personality Psychology Compass):

Historically, nostalgia has been viewed as a disease of the brain or the mind. However, in recent years, nostalgia has received a conceptual rehabilitation due to a revival of scholarly interest accompanied by the use of contemporary empirical methods. Drawing upon this recent work, we propose that nostalgia is an important resource for psychological health and well-being. We begin by detailing the characteristics of the nostalgic experience and then discuss a wide range of studies demonstrating that psychological threat triggers nostalgia, nostalgia enhances psychological health and well-being, and nostalgia promotes adaptive psychological functioning among individuals at risk for poor mental health. We also highlight the need for future research on nostalgia’s relation to psychological health.

Click to read the rest.

And "Nostalgic feelings about the past linked to optimism" (Medical News Today).

Finally, here is a blog post in which Wray Herbert looks at nostalgia and at ways we cope with knowing we will eventually die: "The Grim Reaper Heuristic: Loneliness and Zealotry."

Mindfulness as a business?

Excerpt from a new article in The Economist on mindfulness:

What got the mindfulness wagon rolling was the 1960s counter-culture, which injected a shot of bohemianism into the bloodstream of capitalism: witness the rise of companies such as Virgin, Ben & Jerry’s and Apple, whose co-founder, Steve Jobs, had visited India on a meditation break as a young man, and who often talked about how Zen had influenced the design of his products. But three things are making the wheels roll ever faster.

The most obvious is omni-connectivity. The constant pinging of electronic devices is driving many people to the end of their tether. Electronic devices not only overload the senses and invade leisure time. They feed on themselves: the more people tweet the more they are rewarded with followers and retweets. Mindfulness provides a good excuse to unplug and chill out—or “disconnect to connect”, as mindfulness advocates put it. A second reason is the rat race. The single-minded pursuit of material success has produced an epidemic of corporate scandals and a widespread feeling of angst. Mindfulness emphasises that there is more to success than material prosperity. The third is that selling mindfulness has become a business in its own right.

Click to read the rest of "The mindfulness business."

Understanding cognitive dissonance helps us improve behavior and guard against other people

A new article I recommend is titled "History Gets Into Bed with Psychology, and It’s a Happy Match" (George Mason University's History News Network). Excerpt:

History has had many affairs with psychology. Its longest marriage, to psychoanalysis, produced a camel called “psychohistory,” typically consisting of post-hoc analyzing of major historical figures, usually involving their mothers, to explain wars, invasions, and revolutions. The result was sometimes preposterous and sometimes interesting, but it usually was neither good history nor good psychology.

But at last, history has gotten into bed with psychological science, and it’s a happy match. History gives us the data of, in Barbara Tuchman’s splendid words, our march of folly -- repeated examples of human beings unable and unwilling to learn from mistakes, let alone to admit them. Cognitive science shows us why. Its evidence has put a stake through the heart of any remaining arrogance we might have as a species that we are Homo “sapiens.” Our brains, which have allowed us to travel into outer space, have a whole bunch of design flaws, which is why we have so much breathtaking bumbling here on Earth.

Of the many built-in biases in human thought, three have perhaps the greatest consequences for our own history and that of nations: the belief that we see things as they really are, rather than as we wish them to be; the belief that we are better, kinder, smarter, and more ethical than average; and the confirmation bias, which sees to it that we notice, remember, and accept information that confirms our beliefs -- and overlook, forget, and discount information that disconfirms our beliefs.

Click to read the rest. The article is written by Carol Tavris about whom I have blogged before.

The Zen of Law School Success

In the fall 2013 edition of Phi Alpha Delta's The Reporter, I read on page 9 a short article titled "The Art of Zen in Law School." Excerpt:

Chad Noreuil is the author of The Zen of Law School Success and the website, lawschoolzen.com. On the site, Chad has written an article about perseverance and the struggles and frustration law students encounter in their studies.

"At its most fundamental level, like always boils down to two perspectives—"Get To" and "Have To." Everything you do can be compartmentalized into these two categories. The more you choose to place your perspective in the "get to" column, the better your attitude will be ... .

He further speaks on how perspective is a key to not only surviving trying situations in law school and life, but in putting forth our best effort and using situations to better our self and the self of others.

Click to go to lawschoolzen.com, learn more about Chad Noreuil, and read the article about perseverance mentioned above.

New research underscores importance of mind-body awareness, diet, exercise

Press release from Society for Neuroscience:

New studies released today underscore the potential impact of healthy lifestyle choices in treating depression, the effects of aging, and learning. The research focused on the effects of mind/body awareness, exercise, and diet, and was presented at Neuroscience 2013, the annual meeting of the Society for Neuroscience and the world’s largest source of emerging news about brain science and health.

The experiences and choices people make throughout life actively impact the brain. As humans live longer, these choices also affect aging and quality of life. Lifestyle changes to diet and exercise will be important to aging populations as non-drug, easy-to-follow interventions with few side effects,make ideal potential therapies.

Today’s new findings show that:

Click to read the rest.

 

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The pathology of groups: When collaboration and teamwork are not good goals

Focus on the group, the community, the village, and on activities such as compromise, collaboration, cooperation—as well as on other groupiness goals and teaminess theories—can foster fruitless, dysfunctional, even harmful, results. If a group effort is to be capable or a team to be effective, each person participating needs to have a well-developed self. Unfortunately, all people are not well-developed selves.

Has our culture gotten out of balance towards the group and away from autonomy? Both are needed for healthy action, and vigorous living, but group and team seem to be more highly valued and spotlighted today.

It was with concern about both this need for self-development and the lack of balance that I attended Professor Ray Baumeister's talk at the Association for Psychological Science annual conference this May; his presentation was titled "What Is the Self?" It clarified for me why I find emphasis on the group without equal attention to the individual so troubling. A brief overview of much of his talk . . .

Baumeister looked at how we define "self." Is it a process, a performance, a story? And he talked about why the idea of self is out of favor in some disciplines such as cognitive psychology and neuroscience while essential to others such as economics and social psychology.

He asked: How does the self emerge? He referred to "More Is Different" by P.W. Anderson and explained that "self" is the opposite of reductionism. At the higher and more complex levels of structure is where the self emerges, not at the levels of basic parts and ingredients. Because the self is complex, the reductionist point of view will not see it and likely will deny the possibility of its existence. Anderson says

At each stage, entirely new laws, concepts, and generalizations are necessary, requiring inspiration and creativity to just as great a degree as in the previous one. Psychology is not applied biology, nor is biology applied chemistry.

Baumeister talked about the need for each member of a group to be fully developed and to have a differentiated self. If that kind of self does not make up the group, group pathology will likely result, including

• Diffusion of responsibility
• Groupthink
• Brainstorming that is less productive than work done individually by group members
• Conformity
• Social loafing (group members putting forth less effort)
• Poor decision-making
• Resources wasted
• Stereotyping
• Individuals submerged to the group (when individuals blend and are submerged, the group is less than its total number)

These days I am seeing that unfortunately many advocates of groups and teams do not typically look at what kind of selves are needed to make up functional and productive efforts of collaboration. The team approach is revered but with little thought to the necessary quality of team members. It is almost as if the team cheerleaders think all people are

Good overview of gamification principles: Why I now drink more

For several months now, I have drunk sufficient water. Why? Plant Nanny. This app (which today costs less than a dollar) has become a part of my daily life, and I have recommended it to many other people who have become happy users. In the beginning, watering plants on a phone seemed silly but now I look forward to achieving a goal and planting more plants in my garden. AND I am sufficiently hydrated!

The app uses principles of gamification very well. To learn more about those principles, click to view a slide show titled appropriately "The Principles of Gamification." Plus, the app assisted with the important trio of changing or creating habits: knowledge, skill, and desire or motivation. In the instance of my drinking more water, I already knew hydration is important to one's health, thinking, etc., and the app calculated for me how much water I should drink each day given my activity level and weight. I already was skilled at drinking so the app did not add much. But the motivation component was huge and helpful.

After reading much (including this book) and talking with others, I am convinced of the value of gamification. Therefore I continue to work on a game for conflict resolution and also one for assessing matches and clashes between clients and their consultants (including lawyers and mediators). Have you developed any games? Seen any good ones? Used gamification in your personal or professional life?

Past posts about games and gamification:

• Are you an achiever, explorer, socializer, or killer: Is conflict resolution a game?
• Ever heard of a lawyer playing games? Learn how from a gaming lawyer beginning Monday
• Using games to educate and solve problems: Playing with conflict and brains

And a related post: Want to help yourself and others get more done (and enjoy the doing)? Here's an excellent method.