A divorce ritual has been a good idea for many couples. I know of several such rituals that were creative, both cleansing and closing. But why a ritual for the end of a marriage? Because rituals mark change and can welcome one to a new stage in living.
Rituals are a very important thread in the fabric of our lives. I wrote in Creating Your Own Funeral or Memorial Service:
All of us are born and all of us will die. Most of us come of age. Many of us marry. These events are all very significant. Because of the importance of these rites of passage, rituals to commemorate them are held in all cultures. Each rite of passage results in a major change in the status of the individual. This change in status is facilitated and announced by the corresponding ritual.
These rituals have traditionally been the dominion of religion. Priests and holy people conducted the rituals, and they usually took place in some holy place. For many rituals, this religious influence is still strong. Of course, not all rituals are religious; many are secular.
Whether religious or secular, or a combination of both influences and elements, rituals fill an
important need for the people involved and for their community. They practically and symbolically signal a change and they bring people together to honor that change. People gathered for the ritual also support each other in adapting to the change.
Divorce rituals are the topic of an article published earlier this week: "Ceremonies For All Of Life's Transitions; Yes, Even Divorce" (Hartford Courant). (Hat tip to The Funeral Lady.) Although the article focuses on the use of a professional celebrant, my experience has shown that most people can create quite wonderful rituals without the advice of a consultant. In an earlier post, I linked to some books that would help a person design their own funeral. Take a look because many of the books I recommend are helpful for any kind of ritual.
Tell me, please. Are any of your marital dissolution clients creating end-of-marriage rituals? How about the clients adopting children? Or are your clients creating other kinds of rituals?
And, yes, my frequent question: how many of your clients have created their own end-of-life event? Less than a week before the 9th annual Create a Great Funeral Day; it's October 30.
Image credit: FreePhoto.com.
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