Increase people energy by decreasing snake consent

This is the second half of my post on energizing and de-energizing people, and on snake consent. You may read the first installation of this post on energy and snake consent here.

in his book Self-Esteem at Work: How Confident People Make Powerful Companies, Dr.Nathaniel Branden presents many positive implications for the workplace or firm with high self-esteem. Just imagine a law firm filled with people like this.Those we are not self-esteem-challenged

1. Do not need to make one’s self look big by making another look small.
2. Approach others with attitudes of benevolence, altruism and kindness.
3. Have the energy to listen to another because they are not distracted with anxieties or concerns about inadequacy.
4. Expect to be liked and accepted so behave in ways that make the expectation come true.
5. Expect to be taken seriously so behave in ways that insure it.
6. Are able to interact with others in a way that meets the needs of themselves and other parties.
7. Project a secure sense of their own worth which conveys a sense of respect and good will towards others.
8. Communicate openly, honestly and appropriately believing their thoughts have value.
9. Are disposed to form positive rather than toxic relationships as “like is drawn to like, and health is attracted to health.”
10. Focus on solutions rather than self-justification.

If a firm's people have these above-listed traits, snake consent would not be an issue. A person who did engage in behavior that might de-energize some people would be neutralized by the abundance of self-esteem. People with high self-esteem just smile (at least mentally) when they see such behavior, or they may experience a bit of sadness or pity for the bad actor.

The firm of high self-esteem is a place where honesty, fairness and respect are the norms for how people treat each other. Unfortunately it is a rare workplace, law firm or other, that is filled with individuals of high self-esteem.

Is it possible to raise one's self-esteem?

Branden in his years of work with self-esteem developed six practices upon which self-esteem is built: his six pillars. Listed here are four of the pillars:

1. Living consciously
   To see what is happening without evasion or denial. To be present to any activity in which we are involved. Being present to any encounter with your client, employee, partner, co-worker, vendor, consultant.
2. Being self-responsible
   To see that we are responsible for our own choices, fulfillment, happiness and attainment of goals. To see that if we need the cooperation of others to achieve goals, we must offer them something of value in return, something that is acceptable to both of us.
3. Being self-assertive
   To honor our wants and needs and find appropriate ways to achieve them. To stand up for our convictions and values. To treat ourselves with respect in encounters with others.
4. Practicing integrity
   To have principles of behavior which govern our actions. To keep our promises, tell the truth, treat others with fairness and honor agreements.

You can see that a person acting on those four pillars will not be de-energized by another. This person knows she or he is responsible for responses and reactions to the behavior of other people. To quote Eleanor Roosevelt once again: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." The person standing high on the pillars never consents to snakes. Our energy response to another person is our choice and our responsibility.