7th Annual Create a Great Funeral Day: A gift, not a joke

I was pleased to see that earlier this month Professor Gerry W. Beyer at Wills, Trusts & Estates Prof Blog posted about my book Creating Your Own Funeral or Memorial Service: A Workbook. I have written before at idealawg about the benefits for lawyers and clients of designing their own, unique end-of-life events, regardless of the designer's age or state of health. The topic is one that is close to my heart.

Why would I write a book on how to create your own going-out ritual? Too often I have seen the grieving survivors, when planning the funeral or memorial, struggle to answer this question about the deceased: "What would he/she have wanted?" That guessing often accompanies and sometimes exacerbates the pain of loss. I decided leaving behind your wishes about your event would be a gift to your friends and loved ones. And I wanted to make it easy for people to create that gift -- thus, the workbook.

As I researched and wrote the book, I realized filling out the workbook had several advantages:

• You relieve those you leave behind of many decisions during their time of grief.
• You give the bereaved the emotional satisfaction of knowing they are carrying out your wishes.
• You may open up new areas of discussion with your family.
• You are able to create an event that truly reflects your life.
• Reviewing your life for the purpose of creating the service allows you to evaluate how you want to use your future.
• And this gentle reminder of your mortality has an effect on your decisions about today.

 

Today, October 30, 2006, is the 7th annual Create a Great Funeral Day. While writers such as Kimberley A. Strassel call these holidays "ridiculousness" (she cited Create a Great Funeral Day as an example), I declared it so that people (at least a few) might think for a moment of the many advantages of somehow leaving their wishes about their ceremonies behind. Maybe just a scrap of paper or a letter or a conversation with someone with a good memory . . . The method does not matter; the message will.

Note (added October 30, 2008, 11:00 AM Mountain): Vinay Menon includes this holiday in an article about "October's ridiculous celebrations": "Let's celebrate October's absurdity" (Toronto Star).

Comments

[Phil Gerbyshak]

This is quite a day Stephanie. To think about how you'd want to be memorialized and then actually doing something about it would relieve quite a burden from one's family. Very unique day, and very unique idea. I like it!

[Alexis Christoforous]

Hello Stephanie,

I am a reporter for CBS News in New York and we are doing a story on people who are planning their own memorial services/funerals -from the simple to the lavish. I came across your name while doing some research on the topic and would like to speak with you at your earliest convenience about possibly being part of our story. Email is a great way to reach me - "[email protected]" Hope you are well and look forward to speaking to you soon.