Brains On Purpose™

Do you have a conflict habit? A reminder of the role of values in effective conflict resolution

When a person affirms his or her deepest values, the process of conflict resolution can be easier, and often quicker. In fact, most other activities can be facilitated by affirming your values (what is called self-affirmation), whether it be running, or recharging, or writing.

However, for many of us, our habits can get in the way. We all have seen clients, friends, colleagues, and, yes, ourselves repeatedly or automatically default to a conflict mode. And, at the extreme, are behaviors such as addiction to indignation, a state that makes the resolution of a dispute very difficult. As we have discussed here before and as I talk about in my programs, those habitual behaviors, even the most extreme, can be changed and self-affirmation plays an essential role in that change.

Here's an overview of a recent talk by neuroscientist Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz in which he talks about habit and self-affirmation. I highly recommend reading it as a good review. Click to read "The neuroscience of habit with Dr Jeffrey Schwartz" now. He talks about the helpful role of mindfulness, too:

Jeffrey says that when you practice mindfulness, you become aware of all the nonsense going on in your mind. You can then use this observation to make judgments about what you will allow to play out in your life.

“The brain is passive, the mind is active. The mind is the choices and decisions you make. You have to use the brain and the mind as a team. The brain puts out the call, the mind decides whether to listen.”

The role of the conflict professional's self-reflection in effective conflict resolution

What is the role of self-awareness and self-reflection in effective conflict resolution? To hear a teleconference on that topic, click here. The title of the teleconference is "Inside Out: How Conflict Professionals Can Use Self-Reflection to Help Their Clients" and it features long-time mediator and lawyer Gary Friedman.

Are you or your clients remembering that story accurately? Some ways to check

I recommend to you this excellent article written by the authors of The Invisible Gorilla: How Our Intuitions Deceive Us. They offer 10 ways to check the accuracy of our very malleable and faulty memory.

Journalists know that when they hear something from one source, they should corroborate it with independent sources before reporting it. The science of memory has taught us that our own memories are also unreliable sources, just as needy of corroboration.

Click to read the rest of "How Not to Be the Next Brian Williams: Ten ways to avoid false memories" (Slate).

Good to hear: Two interviews with me have made top-10 or most-listened-to lists

I am pleased to say that the interview by Zena Zumeta of me for the Texas Conflict Coach Radio Blog Show was one of The Best of 2013. The description:

Brains on Purpose: Traits and States to Shape Your Conflict Fate

Our brains are changing all the time. We can be in control of those changes or we can have accidental brains, ruled by habit. Stephanie will show you how you can break bad habits, set and reach goals, and maximize your ability to handle conflict through the process of self-directed neuroplasticity. By using some basic techniques, you can take charge of how your brain changes. You can rewire your brain on purpose.

Click to listen (the link is towards the bottom of the page).

And my interview by Dave Hilton was among the top 10 episodes of the Conflict Specialists Show. The description:

Conflict Resolution, Neuroscience & Zombies with Stephanie West Allen (Idealawg)

In this 31st episode of the Conflict Specialists Show, Dave Hilton interviews Stephanie West Allen (Idealawg & Brains on Purpose) about her work with Conflict Resolution, Neuroscience, Mediation, Monsters and…wait for it…ZOMBIES!

Some of the topics in today’s episode:

• Writing Multiple Blogs
• BOOK – Triversity Fantasy: Seven Keys To Unlock Prejudice
• Neuroscience and Conflict
• Edgar Allan Poe, Monsters and Zombies
• and more

Click to listen.

An authentically calming voice: Another benefit of mindfulness for lawyers, mediators, counselors

Your tone of voice can affect your client's ability to hear you, especially in times of stress. In order to have a tone of voice that allows us to be heard, we need to monitor our own level of tension, our own level of defensiveness, our own level of feeling safe. Ongoing monitoring requires mindfulness.

And a truly calming tone of voice is very different from a maneuver, move, or ploy to manipulate a client.

Dr. Stuart Shanker at the Web site of the Canadian Self-Regulation Initiative explains part of Dr. Stephen Porges's Polyvagal Theory and then recommends monitoring your state of tension because "[a] very basic contagion effect operates here: tension in the speaker begets tension in the listener." A tense listener is not an accurate or receptive listener. (Although Dr. Shanker is talking about children, monitoring one's tension level when talking with adults is also of critical importance.)

The tone of voice that facilitates good communication does not result from a technique: it flows from the speaker's state. It comes from an inner feeling of safety and conveys that safety to others. Porges's Polyvagal Theory provides the neuroscience and physiology behind the effect of voice tone.

If you want to interact effectively with clients, I highly recommend that you take some time to listen to Porges talking about his theory here or here (slides for the CCARE talk). (Other talks are here.) I have found that listening at those links was easier to understand than reading his book or articles about his work, with the exception of this written interview and this one which are easy to understand.

Once again I am featuring wise practitioners, Shanker and Porges today, who do not talk about stuffing your bag of tricks fuller or

Cognitive patterns are an undercurrent of all conflict resolution: Learn about them from an expert

The ways parties and conflict professionals think, both when analyzing issues and information and when reaching conclusions, are critical factors in the resolution, maintenance, or escalation of disputes. And when there are clashes between these cognitive patterns, the conflict will be affected. On the other hand, when the professional understands the various patterns, he or she can move the process away from clashing and towards matching. I have blogged about these clashes and matches before; click here to see links to several past posts.

Dr. Susan Wolcott is an expert on cognitive patterns and cognitive development. She has recently posted links to her introductory Webinar in which she explains five cognitive patterns. I am happy to say that you may listen to and watch them now!

If you are a dispute professional, viewing her Webinar will be well worth your time. Click to start now. Please note that they are in reverse order so part one is the last link listed. The numbering will be clear once you go to the Web page.

Wolcott wrote in her announcement email:

Before viewing the videos, you might want to access a one-page summary of the five cognitive patterns.  It can be downloaded from my web site in PDF format at:
http://www.wolcottlynch.com/Downloadable_Files/Competency_Rubric_060209.pdf

Enjoy these resources; please let me know your reactions and reflections.

Being mindful to changing your brain: Short videos of neuroscientist Jeff Schwartz

To view short videos of Dr. Jeffrey M. Schwartz talking about topics ranging from mindfulness to leadership to changing your brain (self-directed neuroplasticity), click here.

Reading each other's minds: Some videos on Theory of Mind (ToM)

Click on over to the University of California Television site to watch some videos from a conference titled "Mind Reading: Human Origins and Theory of Mind."

Click to read the Wikipedia page on Theory of Mind.

Cognitive complexity: How can reading a novel help you to be a better mediator?

Getting Inside Your Head: What Cognitive Science Can Tell Us about Popular Culture

Because the cognitive complexity levels of each of the parties and of the mediator can create either effective matches or unproductive clashes in conflict resolution, I recently have posted on my blogs several times about those levels. (See links below.)

Theories about what increases cognitive complexity are numerous. Most of the theorists seem to agree that developing higher complexity takes time; it also involves experiencing situations which enable a person to feel more and more comfortable with uncertainty and ambiguity. The benefits of complexity include the ability to take multiple perspectives, the already-mentioned comfort with ambiguity, skill in strong and complete analysis, and self-awareness. All of those benefits are helpful in conflict resolution; disparate levels of these traits in the people involved (including the mediator) can hamper or prevent resolution. Therefore it is important for mediators to understand these differences, assess them, and know what to do when they are driving behavior.

And now a surprise: Another method of promoting cognitive complexity may be reading fiction! If you want to learn more,

Knowledge of psychosynthesis is a great asset for mediators: Here's the neuroscience behind that asset

I have posted a number of times on both my blogs (find posts here and here) about the benefits of understanding psychosynthesis. When I was participating in a two-year intensive in mediation, a 10-day training in psychosynthesis was required. Over the decades since, I frequently have been grateful for my knowledge of psychosynthesis, so much so that I took a several day refresher course a couple of years ago. In short, I highly recommend to any mediator that he or she learn more about this approach and philosophy, at least by reading the books listed over to the right by Assagioli and Ferrucci.

About a year ago, an article about the neuroscience of psychosynthesis was published by the Association for the Advancement of Psychosynthesis. It was written by Piero Ferrucci, a man who studied with Roberto Assagioli, the founder of psychosynthesis, and who is very skilled at explaining Assagioli's gift to us. Because I was so impressed with the article, I am shocked that I did not link to it before now. What's that cliche? Better late than never?

From "Psychosynthesis in the Light of Neuroscience":

Many studies in neuroscience show us psychosynthesis in action (without calling it that) in all its important aspects. Studying neuroscience in this context is like learning psychosynthesis again from a different, more concrete perspective. In this essay—by no means an exhaustive treatment of the subject, which would require much more space—I will highlight some basic themes that psychosynthesis and neuroscience have in common.

You likely will recognize several of the names Ferrucci references, including Jeffrey Schwartz, Mario Beauregard, and Daniel Siegel. Click to read the article. I enthusiastically recommend it!

Seven keys to change are also seven elements of conflict resolution—And seven ingredients in brain changing

Are there essential precursors to change? Professor Fred Hanna believes so. His book Therapy With Difficult Clients: Using the Precursors Model to Awaken Change lays out seven precursors, and gives suggestions on how to enhance them. As you can tell from the book title, Dr. Hanna's audience is therapists. Although mediation is not therapy, knowledge of these seven can help conflict professionals to assess missing ingredients when movement towards resolution seems jammed, dammed, or barred.

Here are the seven:

1. A sense of necessity for change
2. A willingness or readiness to experience anxiety or difficulty
3. Awareness of the problem
4. Confronting the problem (...culmination of awareness but is not the same)
5. Effort or will toward change
6. Hope for change
7. Social support for change

Click to read "Overcoming Resistance in Difficult Clients: Techniques and Precursors of Change" for definitions of each of the seven. As you will see, each of them is a precursor to self-directed neuroplasticity: changing the pathways in your brain to make changes in your relationship, your behavior, your perspective, your conflict.

As I read and reread the list, and pondered each item, I liked the list more and more. Partly because it is a good inventory for the parties to conflict, but more because these are essential for mediators, too. Do you agree that mediators need to base their process, regardless of the model they use, on these states and traits in themselves?

What would you add to the list? Would you eliminate any of the elements?

6 benefits of mindfulness which can support the resolution of conflict

If parties to a conflict were adept at understanding and practicing these states and traits, would the likelihood of mutually satisfactory resolution increase?

(1) [I]ntention and motivation; (2) attention regulation; (3) emotion regulation; (4) memory extinction and reconsolidation; (5) prosociality; (6) non-attachment and de-centering.

In the model of mediation I use, of course the presence of those 6 would facilitate resolution. That list was taken from a new article titled "Self-awareness, self-regulation, and self-transcendence (S-ART): a framework for understanding the neurobiological mechanisms of mindfulness" (Frontiers in Human Neuroscience). In the article, the authors define the listed six states and traits, and explain how they are promoted by mindfulness.

I recommend this article both to those of us who already understand the way mindfulness of both the mediator and the parties can smooth the way to resolution, as well as to those diehards who still protest that mindfulness is not an important component of the way mediation is defined and practiced in the 21st century.

Note: Click to read the press release from Brigham and Women's Hospital issued about this article: More than Good Vibes: Researchers Propose the Science Behind Mindfulness. The release provides a quick overview.