Brains On Purpose™

Feelings as facilitators: Emotions can either enhance or impede communication

Jeff was interviewed on national radio last week when he was in Australia. Several of the points he made are very useful for conflict resolution. (Click to listen to Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz) [no longer available]. Jeff begins right about one-quarter of the way in.) Just one example: he talked about the role of emotion in communication.

In the interview, Jeff described self-awareness, and the observing self, and explained some of the benefits of watching what your brain is doing. One of these benefits is the positive use of emotions. Awareness of what our brains are up to allows us to use emotions wisely—instead of them using us. The wise use of emotions is probably one of the most important skills in conflict resolution. As Jeff said in the interview, this awareness allows us to  "use emotions in a way that enhances communication rather than perhaps getting in the way of communication which emotions sometimes do."

Yes, they sometimes do, don't they? Emotions are often an impediment to resolving a dispute. So the more people's minds are in charge of

Conflict: Is it all in your head?

Since neuroscience is one eye through which we look on this blog, and the brain is in the head, I am glad to be reminded of how important the rest of the body is to conflict resolution. The mind and the brain are important but so are the foot and the ankle and the shin . . .

The latest reminder was in an article from The New Mexican: "Mapping the mind." The reporter Jennifer Strand tells us the story behind the soon-to-be-published book The Body Has a Mind of Its Own: How Body Maps in Your Brain Help You Do (Almost) Everything Better written by science writers Sandra Blakeslee and her son Matthew Blakeslee, and gives an overview of the book . . .

The book explores the concept of “body maps” in the brain that trace their routes throughout the body and beyond. According to the book, your body is actually mapped onto your brain (homunculus). All these maps together create your sense of your body (body schema) and you create your own map with your attitude toward your body (body image).

“Research now shows that your brain is teeming with body maps — maps of your body’s surface, its musculature, its intentions, its potential for action, even a map that automatically tracks and emulates the actions and intentions of other people around you,” the Blakeslees write. “These body-centered maps are profoundly plastic — capable of significant reorganization in response to damage, experience, or practice.”

Practice. There's self-directed neuroplasticity again. Be sure to take a look at the article then don't miss the exercise near the end of that page.

An excerpt from the book was published in Scientific American in an article entitled  "Where Mind and Body Meet." In the article, the

"What are you feeling?" "What am I feeling?" These questions are tools for brain taming

A flurry of articles appeared this week about the neuroscience research showing that labeling your feelings can quiet your brain and increase impulse control, including

• Scientific American: "Name that feeling: You'll feel better"
• Daily Telegraph: "Happy chatting"
• Reuters: "Name that feeling: You'll feel better"
• Science Daily: "Putting Feelings Into Words Produces Therapeutic Effects In The Brain"
• Live Science: "Brain Scans Reveal Why Meditation Works"

Of course, a quiet and controlled brain is often an asset in the resolution of conflict, whether that brain belongs to the neutral, advocate, or party. However, when a discussion is hot and contentious, labeling your feelings may be difficult or nearly impossible. We have recommended a way to make it easier, a way to strengthen your labeling skills and labeling synapses.

In our recent article "Lead Your Brain Instead Of Letting It Lead You," we talk about the practice of making mental notes (first described by Jeff in his book Dear Patrick: Life is Tough - Here's Some Good Advice). Developing your skill in making mental notes can bring relief when high conflict occurs. We wrote . . .

Sometimes we become distracted from the direction in which we want to be going.  Our purpose may become clouded by anger, annoyance, confusion, jealousy, fear, or other feelings that knock us off balance and take us off the path.  Brain research has provided a handy way to deal with the distraction.

We label the feeling, saying in our mind or, if appropriate, aloud, statements such as "I am angry" or "I am nervous."  When we make statements like this, that part of the brain feeling the distracting emotion is calmed.  We can then return to clarity and purpose.  The neuroscience literature calls this "labeling the affect."

Sometimes in the heat of the moment this labeling is not easy to do. One way to make it easier is to practice it throughout the day when you are not feeling distracted.  You can practice by labeling behaviors as well as feelings.  Here's how.

During the day make mental notes such as "I am eating," or "I am pleased," or "I am thinking about the deposition."  If you practice daily, your skill in mental note taking will grow and you will be able to engage in it, no matter what is happening.  By labeling the affect, by taking mental notes, a self-leader can become calm in the middle of a storm.

Making mental notes are not just advantageous in times of conflict. The more skilled you get at labeling, the more quickly — no matter the situation — you can return to equanimity and composure. Let us know how it works.

Note: Here's a PDF of the research article "Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity in Response to Affective Stimuli."

Note (added June 29, 2007, 8:30 AM Mountain): Here's Medical News Today article "Verbalizing Feelings Makes Sadness, Anger And Pain Less Intense."