Brains On Purpose™

Do you have a conflict habit? A reminder of the role of values in effective conflict resolution

When a person affirms his or her deepest values, the process of conflict resolution can be easier, and often quicker. In fact, most other activities can be facilitated by affirming your values (what is called self-affirmation), whether it be running, or recharging, or writing.

However, for many of us, our habits can get in the way. We all have seen clients, friends, colleagues, and, yes, ourselves repeatedly or automatically default to a conflict mode. And, at the extreme, are behaviors such as addiction to indignation, a state that makes the resolution of a dispute very difficult. As we have discussed here before and as I talk about in my programs, those habitual behaviors, even the most extreme, can be changed and self-affirmation plays an essential role in that change.

Here's an overview of a recent talk by neuroscientist Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz in which he talks about habit and self-affirmation. I highly recommend reading it as a good review. Click to read "The neuroscience of habit with Dr Jeffrey Schwartz" now. He talks about the helpful role of mindfulness, too:

Jeffrey says that when you practice mindfulness, you become aware of all the nonsense going on in your mind. You can then use this observation to make judgments about what you will allow to play out in your life.

“The brain is passive, the mind is active. The mind is the choices and decisions you make. You have to use the brain and the mind as a team. The brain puts out the call, the mind decides whether to listen.”

The role of the conflict professional's self-reflection in effective conflict resolution

What is the role of self-awareness and self-reflection in effective conflict resolution? To hear a teleconference on that topic, click here. The title of the teleconference is "Inside Out: How Conflict Professionals Can Use Self-Reflection to Help Their Clients" and it features long-time mediator and lawyer Gary Friedman.

That's not how it happened! Let me tell you the true story

How can two or more people sincerely, earnestly, and confidently have such widely divergent versions of events? As mediators, we often have heard stories from parties in which the facts are conflicting and yet no one seems to be deliberately deceiving.

Research continues to show us our memories are malleable and pliant so we are not surprised at the inconsistency. For a good reminder of our memories' flexibility, take a look at "Remembering a Crime That You Didn’t Commit" (The New Yorker). Excerpt:

Shaw and Porter’s study also provides further evidence of the inaccuracy and malleability of human memory, evidence that is already compelling enough to have persuaded the state supreme courts of New Jersey and Massachusetts to mandate that judges instruct juries that eyewitness testimony is inherently unreliable. “Evolutionary theorists say memory is good enough—just good enough for us to survive and to reproduce,” Shaw told me. “But, at the very least, this research calls into question whether we should be putting so much weight on any memory in court”—especially in the absence of corroborating proof. ...

Are you or your clients remembering that story accurately? Some ways to check

I recommend to you this excellent article written by the authors of The Invisible Gorilla: How Our Intuitions Deceive Us. They offer 10 ways to check the accuracy of our very malleable and faulty memory.

Journalists know that when they hear something from one source, they should corroborate it with independent sources before reporting it. The science of memory has taught us that our own memories are also unreliable sources, just as needy of corroboration.

Click to read the rest of "How Not to Be the Next Brian Williams: Ten ways to avoid false memories" (Slate).

Good to hear: Two interviews with me have made top-10 or most-listened-to lists

I am pleased to say that the interview by Zena Zumeta of me for the Texas Conflict Coach Radio Blog Show was one of The Best of 2013. The description:

Brains on Purpose: Traits and States to Shape Your Conflict Fate

Our brains are changing all the time. We can be in control of those changes or we can have accidental brains, ruled by habit. Stephanie will show you how you can break bad habits, set and reach goals, and maximize your ability to handle conflict through the process of self-directed neuroplasticity. By using some basic techniques, you can take charge of how your brain changes. You can rewire your brain on purpose.

Click to listen (the link is towards the bottom of the page).

And my interview by Dave Hilton was among the top 10 episodes of the Conflict Specialists Show. The description:

Conflict Resolution, Neuroscience & Zombies with Stephanie West Allen (Idealawg)

In this 31st episode of the Conflict Specialists Show, Dave Hilton interviews Stephanie West Allen (Idealawg & Brains on Purpose) about her work with Conflict Resolution, Neuroscience, Mediation, Monsters and…wait for it…ZOMBIES!

Some of the topics in today’s episode:

• Writing Multiple Blogs
• BOOK – Triversity Fantasy: Seven Keys To Unlock Prejudice
• Neuroscience and Conflict
• Edgar Allan Poe, Monsters and Zombies
• and more

Click to listen.

Cognitive patterns are an undercurrent of all conflict resolution: Learn about them from an expert

The ways parties and conflict professionals think, both when analyzing issues and information and when reaching conclusions, are critical factors in the resolution, maintenance, or escalation of disputes. And when there are clashes between these cognitive patterns, the conflict will be affected. On the other hand, when the professional understands the various patterns, he or she can move the process away from clashing and towards matching. I have blogged about these clashes and matches before; click here to see links to several past posts.

Dr. Susan Wolcott is an expert on cognitive patterns and cognitive development. She has recently posted links to her introductory Webinar in which she explains five cognitive patterns. I am happy to say that you may listen to and watch them now!

If you are a dispute professional, viewing her Webinar will be well worth your time. Click to start now. Please note that they are in reverse order so part one is the last link listed. The numbering will be clear once you go to the Web page.

Wolcott wrote in her announcement email:

Before viewing the videos, you might want to access a one-page summary of the five cognitive patterns.  It can be downloaded from my web site in PDF format at:
http://www.wolcottlynch.com/Downloadable_Files/Competency_Rubric_060209.pdf

Enjoy these resources; please let me know your reactions and reflections.

New (to me) book on the brain, conflict resolution, and dance

Click to learn about a book published in September titled The Choreography of Resolution: Conflict, Movement, and Neuroscience. You may read at that link the book's Table of Contents, Acknowledgments, Foreword, and Introduction. From the American Bar Association Web site:

This work invigorates connections between somatic knowledge and conflict transformation. Taken together, the chapters address this question: How does the nexus of movement and conflict inform and deepen understandings and generate new questions and insights about conflict geography and the choreography of resolution? Juxtaposing autobiographical and practice experiences with diverse cultural, historical and social realities highlights both challenges and breakthroughs in this burgeoning area.

The chapters also reveal the importance of symbolic and non-literal language in expressing and addressing the true toll of trauma on an individual or community. The contributors describe how physical movement enables more holistic access to decoding emotions that are invariably physiological, containing both mental and embodied nuances. As the body and mind are in constant conversation, it is understood then that emotions begin with physical sensations. When the emotions and energy are blocked by conflict, it then attributes to physical changes. This book illuminates the physical, emotional, and relational intelligence that relate to conflict resolution and takes you on a journey toward reshaping and developing your own mind, as well as your approach to conflict resolution.

I have not read the book and, in fact, only learned of it today (thanks, Merrilyn Astin Tarlton). Have you read it? If so, what were your thoughts? Did it inspire you to try something new?

Poetic pillows, photographic pillows, peaceful pillows: Does place affect level of conflict?

We now know well that the brain is changing all the time, affected both by what is inside a person and in his or her environment. From what I hear, more and more mediators are paying attention to the location and surroundings of a conflict resolution meeting. Perhaps these location-aware mediators know about neuroplasticity (changing brain) either from knowledge of the research or intuitively, and realize the impact scene, spot, and site can have on parties in conflict.

Particularly because of my work with attention-based, awareness-focused photography, I have been thinking much about place. Therefore, the notion of places of poetry is of great interest, and I was intrigued by these few paragraphs in a book I was reading.

From the very start of Japan's long poetic tradition, places revered for their historic events, scenic beauty or religious significance were named or described in poems. Over time, a number of such places became recognized for evoking particular poetic feelings and associations. Used by Japanese poets as a kind of shorthand for tapping into shared cultural sensibilities, a body of such place names came to be called utamakura or "poetic pillows." Poets and poetry lovers planed trips to the locations of their favorite poems to experience the places firsthand, making them popular travel destinations in Japan. ... Particularly loved poems were carved into stones and placed at the site where the poem was written. [The stones] can be found all over Japan ... .

...I began to wonder which spots in my hometown or country might make good "poetic pillows"—places that evoke feelings common to the community or larger culture. Locations that were significant to me, personally, came to mind, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized any list I came up with by myself could not tell me what I wanted to know.

So I sent a little informal, unscientific email survey to about 50 of my friends in and around Port Townsend. In the survey I asked my friends to name five places in the immediate vicinity of town that was sacred to them, either for personal reasons or for the community at large. I also asked them to name five places outside their local area and within the United States that were sacred to them. either personally or for the nation. Then I sat back and waited for the data to roll in.

And roll in it did. If I did not know it before, here is one piece of news about the human family that came through loud and clear in the responses to the survey: we are connected to the planet Earth by more than force of gravity. We are tied to the places of of our lives by the forces that shape and ground our hearts and spirits.

I decided to follow the lead of the book's author and ask the same of my friends and colleagues; the email will go out soon after this post goes up. If you want to join me in this focus, perhaps meditation, on place, please do. What are the places in your community and in your country that you feel are sacred? And if you do this exercise, does it influence your thoughts about the location of conflict resolution?

Note (added at 12:40 PM Mountain): Thanks to my friend Amanda Bucklow for telling about genius loci, a related concept. More here.

Filters and frames: Mediation is all about the viewfinder

Our brains are vigilant, hyperaware of any sensed change to see if it represents danger. Partly because they use a lot of our energy, our brains seek to deal with new information quickly and easily. So, rather like a photographer, the brain applies filters and frames. The filters shift, accentuate, and diminish what is seen. And the frames limit what is viewed to certain boundaries.

Changing the filters and the frames can make the shot new, fresh, and different. Perhaps the picture is improved—more clear, with a clarity that brings high resolution.

In a conflict, each party has a viewfinder; typically the views found are diverse, disparate, and sometimes painfully discordant. The less attention paid to those viewfinders, the more remote effective and satisfactory resolution becomes. In contrast, attention can bring a solution into focus.

By applying apps, filters, and frames below, I can display several versions of the same scene. (Please click on the pictures to see them full-sized; the quality is reduced by importing them into Typepad.) Do the different shots remind you of any dispute you have mediated? Any conflict in which you and another person have disagreed?

Conflict resolution can be as simple as becoming aware that our viewfinders are individual and often contrasting. Once in a while, coming to a resolution can even be a snap if we pay full attention to the fact that our views may be as different as a photo is from its negative.

When in conflict, it can help to snap to attention!

Lessons from Poe: Detecting the Inner Mediator—Join us this May in Baltimore

I will be presenting three programs in Baltimore on May 2 and 3. They are being offered by the ADR Section of the Maryland Bar Association at Westminster Hall, site of the Edgar Allan Poe crypt. Below is the description of the day-long program being held on May 2. I will also give a keynote that evening.

And, if 20 people register by April 1, we will have a practicum on May 3 based on the day-long program from the day before. More information and registration for May 2 here. If you are interested in the practicum, please email David Simison. [Note added April 3: We are no longer taking sign-ups for the practicum.]

I hope to see many of you there!

Lessons from Poe: Detecting the Inner Mediator

Poe is acknowledged by many as the genius who invented the detective story and inspired the genre of science fiction. Over 150 years after his death, we can still learn much from the imagination of this author and poet.

A skilled mediator is a supreme detective. The foremost, primary, and threshold mystery to solve: What method of mediation is best suited to the individual conflict professional, the parties, and the conflict. We will use an assessment approach to facilitate that first solution.

The clues a mediator must be able to read with precision involve self-awareness and self-knowledge, discovery of purpose, theory of mind (or discovering what's in the minds of other people), and razor focus on solutions, not problems. We will take our magnifying glasses to those topics and sharpen those skills.

What's science fiction have to do with mediation? Currently conflict resolution training is full of neuroscience that is fiction. We will separate the facts from the fiction and hype. We'll look at

Conflict coaching seminar with Dr. Tricia Jones: June in Denver

Click to read all the details over at idealawg.

Want to understand power better? A new book from neuroscientist Ian Robertson may help

I have posted about Dr. Robertson a number of times in the past (see links below). And, at all my presentations, I recommend his books; he is an excellent neuroscientist who writes so well I often say that he writes like a poet. I see that he has written a new book The Winner Effect: The Neuroscience of Success and Failure and wanted to let Robertson fans (and those not yet acquainted with his work) know about The Winner Effect. Because I have not read it, I will link to a few articles about the book.

First, from the Guardian, is "Bankers and the neuroscience of greed." Excerpt:

...Power and money both act on the brain's reward system, which if over-stimulated for long periods develops appetites that are difficult to satisfy, just as is the case for drug addiction. We call these appetites greed and greedy people are never satisfied. That is the challenge for politicians and regulators.

Next from Ireland's Independent, is "Power and the brain: Kenny, Blair and Fianna Fail." Excerpt:

Prof Robertson said one of the consequences of power is it makes individuals focus on the positive rewards.

"No government should be in power for more than 10 years. We had a real problem of that excess of power in terms of the people in charge here."

An article from Irish Times is titled "Powerful insights into how brain works." Excerpt: