Do you think people can change? Your answer to that question may affect the conflict in your life. Can you look at disagreements from a third-party perspective? Doing so may affect life's conflicts, too.
The impact on conflict of having a growth mindset (believing people can change) and using cognitive reappraisal (e.g., seeing things through a third party's eyes) are discussed in the below news release from Stanford.
As any of you who have attended one of Brains on Purpose™ my programs knows, we look at a method for taking a third-party perspective which I have called "double journaling." I explain the exercise in the recent interview I did for Pattie Porter with Zena Zumeta. Links to listen to the interview are here. Another method: Taking or finding a photo that represents the conflict to you and describing it as a third-party observer.
More about the role of growth mindset in conflict, and specifically how it affects kids' desire for revenge, is explained in this interview of Dr. Carol Dweck from Family Goes Strong.Now for that Stanford news release (links are found in the release and not included below) . . .