idealawg

March 22 is Holi, festival of colors and water balloons—and joy!

Today let's paint each other, not argue, and have some fun. Holi is a day of colors and togetherness. From the Colors of India Website:

Holi is the festival of freedom from social norms. Colors . . . are showered on the people dressed up in white clothes and the whole community seems to merge into one big fraternity under the guise of colors, without any distinction of caste, creed, color or sex. Children with 'pichkaris' (big syringes to squirt colored water) and faces smeared with color look adorable. People exchange good wishes, sweets and gifts. Holi parties are organized in the grounds where people dance to the rhythmic beats of the drums and sing Holi songs.

Food and beverage are a part of the holiday, too. Wherever it is celebrated, Holi ushers in spring and says good-bye to winter.

A report from New Delhi:

The festival of colours, Holi, is being celebrated across the country today.

One of the most auspicious days of the Hindu calendar, the festival marks the beginning of spring. But it's the riot of colours spread with the arsenal of water balloons and water guns and some great food that brings the country alive.

See photos from the BBC News. A very nice Holi photos slideshow at Flickr. In Bollywood, 32 celebs talk about their Holi plans. And from the UK:

HINDUS have been throwing dye, eating Indian food and listening to live music at a community centre in Northolt as part of a spring festival.
. . .

Amrik Birbec, of Lawson Road, Southall, said: "It's lovely. Beautiful colours. It's a religious festival but in India everyone enjoys it no matter what religion they come from.

"Everybody gets involved and there are no arguments."

The biggest Holi celebration in North America is in Queens, New York, with 25,000 expected this year.

What are your Holi plans? To get you started, here's a Holi video; I bet you cannot listen without some parts of your body moving. From Diane Levin, I learned that this year Holi is sharing the calendar with World Pillow Fight Day. No matter what you choose to celebrate, it appears that today the world will see lots of frivolity and camaraderie. You gotta love spring and communities of happy people.

Image credit: lilndnmonkey at photobucket
Hat tip: writebrained for the flickr slideshow

People, Action, Content, or Time: Which is your preferred listening style?

Still another difference between cultures besides those already mentioned: Listening styles. Differences in listening styles also occur within cultures. These differences can create conflict in couples, in the workplace, in mediation, and in professional relationships, including that of attorney and client. Learning one's own preferred style and watching what others prefer can make a big difference in anyone's ability to communicate.

The listening styles I am about to describe were developed by James Weaver, Kittie Watson and Larry Barker. After each style, I have listed a few typical features of each.

The Listening Styles

People

• concerned for the other person’s feelings
• look for interests in common with the other
• likely to become engrossed in the other person’s problems

Action

• want accurate, brief, concise statements (A, B, C statements)
• get impatient with disorganized communication
• prone to finishing the thought of the other person

Content

• want to hear all the facts so can carefully make their own judgments and form their own opinions
• want complete facts, data and evidence so they can evaluate them
• like to solve complicated puzzles with complex pieces

Time

• prefer short, speedy, swift interactions (S, S, S statements)
• will often tell others how much time they have to meet
• if time feels pressing, or the other is taking too much time, may interrupt or look at their watch

You Can Negotiate the Differences in Styles

One problem with listening styles is that people use them out of habit, rather than choice. Even when another style would be more appropriate for the situation, they

Improv class being planned for attorneys

At my other blog, I have posted about the value of improvisation for improved self-awareness and ability to resolve conflicts. From that post:

. . . Because doing improv well requires being acutely aware of yourself and others at the same time (just as does conflict resolution), I have used improv structures for years when teaching communication. Get a copy of one of Viola Spolin's books, maybe Improvisation for the Theater, gather up some colleagues, and practice. An extra benefit: It's great fun.

All of us working in conflict resolution know that awareness of our bodies and that of others in the dispute is important for reasons such as reading and projecting body language. Now we are learning even more reasons why that awareness is important.

Self-awareness is a professional obligation, don't you think? I will end with just one reason I think so: When the person facilitating the resolution of the dispute is self-aware, that awareness affects the parties, perhaps through emotional contagion or empathic resonance. (More about that in another post.)

Looks like attorneys in Atlanta have recognized the value

What's the difference between men and women? Are your assumptions harming you (or others)?

Do you have some Mars-men and Venus-women assumptions? Or think what you believe about the gender differences are not assumptions but truth? Incorrect assumptions or beliefs can be harmful to you and others in your personal and professional life. Check out your gender notions over at Brains On Purpose in today's post: The Myth of Mars and Venus: A new book dispelling some entrenched myths. I think that at least one of your assumptions or beliefs will be challenged. Let me know.

Note (added October 3, 2007, 8:35 AM Mountain): Click to read "Speak up, I can't hear you," the next excerpt published by The Guardian from the book The Myth of Mars and Venus. The first excerpt is discussed at the Brains On Purpose post linked to above. Click to read the third and final excerpt "Back down to Earth."

Wilson Sonsini: Goats and gaffes (with later-added Nixon Peabody song notes)

Photo credits below

Earlier this year I blogged about Wilson Sonsini building teams by milking goats. For some reason, I thought of goats when I read in Above the Law about the firm's shocking ineptness in delivering the rejection message to applicants. In Public Humiliation, Courtesy of Your Friends at Wilson Sonsini we learn that the rejections were delivered via e-mail (tacky enough) and that the rejection e-mail had the addresses of all receiving it in the "To" box, not the "Bcc" box!

Note (added August 24, 2007, 5:25 PM Mountain): Speaking of Above the Law, make sure that you don't miss the saga of ATL's not-a-theme-song dispute with Nixon Peabody. I am betting it is not over (good luck, David) but you can catch up to the current chapter by reading Nixon Peabody: This Is Not a Love Theme Song in which David Lat recounts his conversations with representatives from NP, and Nixon Peabody ThemeSongGate: A Linkwrap. I think NP should post that zippy little ditty right on their Web site; the song is so, so, so cute.

Vote over at The Volokh Conspiracy as to how Nixon Peabody should handle this matter of their song. Voting numbers are approaching 1,000.

Note (added August 26, 2007, 3:05 PM Mountain): Hear Everyone's A Winner at Nixon Peabody. Lyrics to the Nixon Peabody song. Both courtesy of Above the Law.

Note (added August 27, 2007, 12:50 PM Mountain): The Nixon Peabody story is now in The New York Times: "Unauthorized Enjoyment of Song Irks Law Firm." Looks like the firm is moving on. Their released statement quoted in the article:

“This song was put together for a celebration. We were having some fun with it and now some other people are having fun with it. We’re moving on and focusing on being a great place to work and doing great work for our clients.”

Another story gets old and dies. I would label this death rather graceful.

Photo credits:
Left goat by Alex at morgueFile
Right goat by fotographix at morgueFile

Why wiki? Let me list the reasons

Here's a technology tip. Until I watched this video, I did not "get" why people were using wikis. Watch Wikis in Plain English and you might be a wiki user by the end of the day. Don't you agree that they have much potential? My ideaphoria is in overdrive.

After I wiki for a period of time, I will post the list of benefits. For you seasoned wiki-ers, I have a question: Why?

Thanks to Dr. Jeff Miller of Innovative Leadership Solutions for telling me about this short video.

Note (added August 17, 2007, 4:15 PM Mountain): wikipatterns.com is  great resource for ways to encourage people to participate in your wiki, as well as ways to deter them: patterns and anti-patterns. (Tip of the hat to Daryl at anecdote.)

Have you watched the horse yet? Johnnie Moore draws an analogy between dressage and facilitation

If you have not watched the clip of this extraordinary horse, you must take a couple of minutes to do so now. One friend of mine told me that watching it made her glad to be alive. Since another friend sent me the link, I have watched this clip several times. When you watch, you will see why. And you will see why the number of views at YouTube is approaching five million.

Johnnie Moore writes

If you watch this (amazing) Youtube of a horse doing its thing, chances are you'll be watching the four-legged animal, not the two-legged one. After all, its the horse that's doing all the work, and the guy is just sitting there.

In fact, the rider is doing all sorts of small stuff with his muscles to co-create the show - but he's not drawing attention to himself at all.

It's not a perfect analogy, of course. Facilitation isn't about control but I'm focussing here on the apparent lack of activity, the discipline that requires, and allowing the other(s) to be the star, not yourself...

Yes, I agree and point out the parallels with mediation, too. And many interactions in the practice of law by professionals who do not need to be the star. In what situations is it best to let your client shine, to be in the spotlight, while you subtly and skillfully guide? I'd like to hear your thoughts.

A comment to the Moore post particularly worth reading is one by Robert Paterson. He says in part  . . .

Johnnie and I were talking about how tired we get when facilitating. It seems that we are doing nothing but the amount of energy used is huge.

In dressage, the rider does do lot but using only small movment - my dressage friends tell me though that it is really all about the use of energy and the relationship that the horse and the rider establish.

That relationship thing again. Seems like its importance shows up in so many arenas.

Note: If you have not been there yet, be sure to explore Moore's blog. For example, take a look at his page with podcasts and articles on the topic of facilitation. Listen to the great podcast about the concept of driving change in an organization. I have always thought that notion of "driving change" was short-sighted, not to mention ignorant of how organizational change actually occurs, so found this podcast to be very wise and real. Have a listen. Lots of gems.

Note (added August 13, 2007, 7:12 PM Mountain): To see a man put in his best performance, just as the horse and rider did but in another art form, watch the story of Paul Potts going from a shy unknown to a man famous but still humble. Be sure to watch the short videos in the right order. Prepare to find your astonishment equaling that of Simon Cowell's. The videos: first, second, and third. And the finale. Paul Potts's bio.

"The New Psychology of Leadership" and other good articles for you from Scientific American MIND

The latest issue of Scientific American MIND is now available. A must-read is the first article listed below; "[r]ecent research in psychology points to secrets of effective leadership that radically challenge conventional wisdom."

According to this new approach, no fixed set of personality traits can assure good leadership because the most desirable traits depend on the nature of the group being led.

This edition's featured articles (be sure to read the first one) . . .

• The New Psychology of Leadership
• Is Greed Good?

Other articles available at the site . . .

• Therapeutic Reflection
• To Read with Speed, Get Hooked on Phonics, and…
• Recovering long-lost memories

An analysis of the generations in the workplace by a KPMG partner: "New generation? A new life form"

A savvy, sometimes-funny, sometimes-sad look at the different and differing generations in the workplace of today. Bernard Salt begins . . .

EVERY week there seems a new revelation about what it is that baby boomer managers need to do to appease Generation Y workers.

Firstly, boomers must not refer to Ys as workers: they are colleagues; they are associates.

Boomers must not dictate instruction to Ys; they must negotiate the way forward.

Boomers are not bosses; they are coaches, leaders and mentors who "inspire" Gen Ys to ever greater levels of workplace ecstasy. Boomers must provide weekly, nay, daily feedback and validation to Gen Ys who must suffer the ignominy of "turning up to do their job".

And if a Gen Y should be found wanting -- hypothetically speaking, of course -- boomers must look inwardly and identify the deficiency in them that has resulted in their young staff under-performing.

You see, Gen Y would perform well if only those in charge truly understood their needs, their wants, their awesome talent that is just waiting to be tapped.

We are indeed fortunate to be so blessed with an entire generation of truly wise Ys.

Oh why, oh why, are Ys consigned to menial tasks when their capacity to Google, their two-thumb talent for full-on text, to say nothing of the quality of their Facebook fact-fest, clearly qualifies them to command the corner office? Aren't most management issues Wikipediable?

And Salt is just getting started. He looks at the other generations, too, in his "New generation? A new life form."

One reason for conflict: "The birds of a feather" phenomenon (homophily)

Why do some people just seem to get along and others are as compatible as hawks and doves? Or chickens and swans? Or canaries and turkeys? One factor may be homophily (huh-MAW-ful-ee). This tendency is strong and deep and can result in conflict.

Much research has been done on the "birds of a feather" phenomenon, which is another name for homophily. Please click on over to my new blog to learn more about homophily.

If you have not had a chance to check out this new blog of mine, please meet Brains On Purpose™.

Photo credits . . .

Chicken by elke at MorgueFile

Hawk by mensatic at MorgueFile