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Lighter Wisdom: TEAR THOSE WORDS OPEN! LAY THEM BARE!

Words are important messengers of both comfort and combat. Words can energize. And they can numb; they can create robots and zombies. They are a tremendous tool or they can make you a fool. Are you a fool for words?

Don't Self-Help Yourself to Sleep

In his book Accidental Genius: Revolutionize Your Thinking Through Private Writing, Mark Levy gives us an effective filter for the many words that enter our senses each day. This filter gives us a fresh way of seeing our world, as well as a dose of critical thinking.

Levy talks about “opening up words.” If we are under the spell of unexamined and lulling, lullaby words, the process of opening up words wakes us.

As an example of what Levy means, let’s apply his method to one genre of information. Many of us read motivational and inspirational literature and listen to gurus of self-help and incentive. What do their words really mean? Much of the motivational and inspirational vocabulary is becoming trite and tired.

We can learn how to freshen the words up or throw out the stale bread. If the words are just stale bread, they may be getting moldy and may be molding you into a sleepwalker.

The Inner Recesses of Your Expression

Levy says:

When you open up a word, you re-define that word so it has personal meaning. You become an explorer within the word, forsaking the sleepy meaning others have given it, and discover for yourself if the concepts embedded within it are still valid.

He gives the example of the word “empowerment.” How many times do you read and hear that word? Are you giving it a “sleepy meaning” and thinking, “Oh yeah, that’s a great word. Give me more of that” without ever looking inside the word to see what, if anything, it means to YOU.

Levy suggests a four-step process to examine words and see if they fit for us.

First, pick the word or phrase you want to dissect for

The way to wisdom? I don't know

Being fuzzy on the right explanation, seeking a healthy dose of ignorance, holding the questions instead of the answers with grace, can sometimes be the wisest path. This poem talks about another path, one often taken by some lawyers.

“Introduction to Poetry” by Billy Collins:

I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem’s room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to water-ski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author’s name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out if it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.

Ever know anyone who beats life with a hose, trying to torture meaning out of it? People who are prone to tying topics to chairs and analyzing, analyzing, analyzing? Analysis can be tiring, and deadly boring.

IMPALED ON THE POINT

I once spent a whole day at a week-long training participating in exercises designed to teach us that one cannot have a good “yes” until one has a good “no.” The trainers wanted us to see that a true and strong “yes” cannot be said by a person who has not developed the ability to say a true and strong “no.”

A valid point, certainly, but . . . The point was tied to a chair and those hoses came out in full force. The point was whacked and swatted and smacked until we all wanted to say, “We confess. Whatever it is, we confess. Let us out of here.” Don’t suppose any of you have ever attended a training like that?

A good “no" and a good “yes” are important. But so is a good “I don’t know.” Sometimes saying “I don’t know” feels like a release, a relief. We don’t always have to know the answer. But do we know we don't?

Some people feel compelled to answer all questions with some answer besides “I don’t know.” These people seem allergic to those three liberating words. They wrinkle their brow and their brain, strain with thought, and emit an answer from their mouth.

And sometimes their answer can seem sempiternal. (I so appreciate the word "sempiternity" because even though it means forever, sempiternity sounds longer than forever or eternity, don’t you think?)

I’M OK BECAUSE IDK

Thought and dialogue and analysis are, of course, very valuable and necessary. But so is IDK (I don't know). I say let’s respect IDK. IDK is an integral part of wisdom.

IDK is also a fun place. When you say IDK, you get to play

Laughter truly has some serious benefits (even for lawyers): Take advantage of those benefits today

I have posted before about the many benefits of humor and laughter and wrote for Law Governance Review the article "Don't Deck the Clown: Inviting Humor into the Law Firm." On this winter Friday, let's remember the many psychological and physiological benefits of humor and laughter. (Click for much more about the gifts of laughter—and about laughism, the prejudice against laughter.)

For a jumpstart on some smiles and laughter, can any of you watch this and maintain a straight face and silence?

Note (added January 25, 2008, 12:40 PM Mountain): From Science Daily: "Laughter Is The Best Medicine."

Laughter is the best medicine. We’ve heard the expression time and again. For decades, researchers have explored how humor helps patients relieve stress and heal. Melissa B. Wanzer, EdD, professor of communication studies at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY, has taken it one step further, with her research on how humor helps medical professionals cope with their difficult jobs. She also looked at how humor affects the elderly and how it can increase communication in the workplace and in the classroom.

Friday's lighter wisdom—YOU CAN'T SLAP A CLOWN NOSE ON A BAD ATTITUDE

Photo credit: cohdra at morgueFile

YOU CAN'T SLAP A CLOWN NOSE ON A BAD ATTITUDE

No Mandatory Joy, Please

A company or workplace cannot mandate happiness -- although some are trying to do just that. Of course, happiness and humor are supportive of a well-functioning business. But the science of bringing laughter and enjoyment into an organization is being refined.

More and more researchers are looking at what is called "positive psychology." In the recent past, what makes people happy, what makes working environments fun, has often been approached in a simplistic, one-size-fits-all fashion.

Immune to Gloom? Choose a Custom Injection

Not every employee wants to wear a clown nose or odd headgear, or chant "ha, ha, ho, ho." Not all workplace members want to attend a standup comic routine on company time. Humor cannot be applied like a band-aid on low morale or dropping productivity.

Humor, happiness, and joy are very personal matters. Many find their greatest sources of enjoyment and funniness away from work. Yet now we are seeing clowns

Friday's lighter wisdom—TIMELY LESSONS FROM A FLAKY BUSINESS

TIMELY LESSONS FROM A FLAKY BUSINESS

Something Rotten in Michigan

Back in 1894, the brothers Kellogg were trying to make what they considered healthy food more appetizing. Due to their tasteless food, the people who stayed at their sanitarium would sneak into the town of Battle Creek, Michigan, to eat flavorful meals in the restaurants; or even leave before their treatments were completed.

The brothers were trying to make an easily-digested and delicious wheat bread and so made up a big pot of wheat porridge. They planned to run this porridge through rollers that would chop it into tiny pieces to be baked in the bread.

Alas, they forgot about the porridge. They had lots else to do in running a sanitarium, and they left it forgotten for several days. When they remembered, they looked into the pot to see that the porridge was moving into a spoiled state. Nevertheless, they put that mush into the

Friday's lighter wisdom — TURN THE ESCAPE KEY NOW

TURN THE ESCAPE KEY NOW

I think I know how bank robbers feel as they wait for tellers to stuff their bounty into a satchel. . . . I damn near giggled as she handed me that bag, validated my parking stub, smiled, and raised her eyes to the next customer, just like that. Clutching my toy to my chest, I shoved through the crowd and hustled towards the exit.

Geez, would I get away with it? Slip a creative writing book past my mean-spirited internal censor? Would I finally ignore that sour-breathed advisor who had always banished enthusiasm with its sick idea of realism, pointing fingers and thundering, "This will go nowhere. This is a waste of time that will cost you. This is PLAY."
--Tama J. Kieves, from This Time I Dance! Trusting the Journey of Creating the Work You Love: How One Harvard Lawyer Left It All to Have It All! [later edition This Time I Dance!: Creating the Work You Love]

Are You a Flight Risk? Hope So

I don’t suppose any of you have a “mean-spirited internal censor,” that Judgment Jabber? Judgment Jabber is the voice that lives inside your mind that tells you: “You’re not good enough.” “You’re wasting your time on this job/relationship/recipe.” “Who are you to think you can succeed/be different/sing?” “What a failure!” “Look at your wrinkles/big ears.”

And lots of other negative things as it causes, exacerbates, and articulates your fears. It is a powerful

Friday's lighter wisdom — CONSTRUCTION ZONE AHEAD

CONSTRUCTION ZONE AHEAD

Backyard Tents and Cardboard Houses

Many a parent have been surprised, when giving a fancy gift to a child, to discover the big box in which it came holds more allure for the child than the gift itself. Kids have a great passion for forts, playhouses, clubhouses, little nooks and crannies indoors and out, tents anywhere and everywhere, treehouses.

Children are often very inventive in creating these special spaces for themselves -- stretching a blanket from one piece of furniture to another to serve as a roof, putting a sheet over a cardtable to transform it into a clubhouse, cutting windows and a door into a large cardboard box to build a playhouse. The list can go on and on. How did you create your kid space when you were young?

Lots of us still have a great enthusiasm for treehouses, and forts, and tents in our backyard. While I was on a trip recently, the bed where I slept was under a skylight that afforded me a view of a very tall oak tree. I looked up and designed in my mind the best treehouse ever.

Everyday, in my imagination, I would climb the tree and sit in my treehouse. When we left, I was sad to leave my treehouse up in those oak branches. So I relocated it and take it with me every place I go. It is now the treehouse of my heart.

You've Always Had the Blueprint

Build the treehouse of your heart. From its heights, you can look down and get a new perspective on problems. The lofty limbs of your heart hold you safely in your arboreal shelter, and that security is always there whenever you choose to enter. Judgment Jabber does not have the secret password so cannot intrude.

Your treasures and talents are stashed there and you can always find them easily. You laugh in this place and invent new ways to play. Ah, the gratitude that soaks through you in your treehouse. You only allow in playmates like joy and generosity and good cheer. On the outside of your treehouse is a big sign that says, “No grumps, or grouches, or grudges allowed,” and that rule is magically enforced.

Friday's lighter wisdom — TODAY'S STAR POLISHING DAY

TODAY'S STAR POLISHING DAY

When You Wish upon a Star

Aster means star. Dis-aster occurs when you don’'t honor your star.

Your star. That place in you that holds all your brilliant qualities, traits, and talents. You know when you are operating from your star. Your Fabulous Four — health, wealth, relationships, and self-expression — blaze with success and well-being. You know it when you are in your star-being and your star-doing.

Have you lost contact with your star? Not a good thing to do as you then court disaster. Where is your star hiding its light? Have you forgotten it into some black hole? Have you developed the habit of mediocrity? A routine of ordinariness? Have you obfuscated it into fuzziness?

Dust off and propel your pulsar. Quicken that inner quasar. The world wants to see your radiance. When we shine as stars, we let other people know their dreams can come true, too. People can make wishes on your star.

Star Light, Star Bright, First Star I Recall Tonight

Your star never burns out. It may burn dull. Be very still and you can feel it. Recall all the good things you have

Friday's lighter wisdom — YOUR INNER TARZAN KNOWS

YOUR INNER TARZAN KNOWS

No Awareness in the Spin-Cycle Thoughts

"A problem cannot be solved on its own level. It cannot be done any more than you can lift yourself up by pulling upward on your legs. Something higher, something outside yourself, must be contacted.

"That something is awareness."
-Vernon Howard, Psycho-Pictography

 

Sometimes when we encounter a problem, we are swept into twister thinking. Our thoughts spin, twirl and whirl around in our brain, seldom under control, seldom productive.

Perhaps we begin to worry about money and are then sucked into our usual, routine thinking about finances. Round and round we go, thinking in circles about poverty. The well-worn circles, the time-worn circles.

Or perhaps we are concerned about health? Into that tornado of illness thinking we are drawn. The same old thoughts, the same old fears, the same old channel.

Perhaps we are tenaciously seeking our life's purpose? Over and over, our thoughts reel around in the habitual hurricane of our mind. Old thoughts do not bring new solutions.

The Awareness Elevator

Imagine you frequently inhabit an eighty-story building. And you find that whenever you begin to worry about wealth, you routinely and chronically get off the elevator on the third floor; you pace there ruminating and exploring all your thoughts and concerns. Every wealth worry carries you to the third floor where you think only in third-floor patterns.

Friday's lighter wisdom — GIFTS FROM YOUR INNER DONKEY

Last Friday I looked at the advantages of living in the Comic Zone versus living in the Drama Zone. Today let's consider some benefits of being a drama queen or king, at least as I define those roles.

(photo credit below)

GIFTS FROM YOUR INNER DONKEY

A philosopher with very big ears

Eeyore is Winnie the Pooh's cloudy, overcast, glum little donkey friend. He never lets Pooh's optimism sway him. He remains a funny killjoy, an amusing wet blanket. His predictable misery has earned him many fans.

And the donkey has a gift for you. Read on.

Ernest H. Shepard has written a wonderful and witty book called Eeyore's Gloomy Little Instruction Book. In the book are some classic and typical Eeyore sayings. For example . . .

Do join in the search for a lost friend-or-relation. But don't be surprised when nobody bothers to tell you he’s been found, and you search on alone for two days.

Poor Eeyore. Ever feel like that?

There are those who will wish you a good morning. If it is a good morning which is doubtful.

Remind you of any of your mornings?

Ah, woe is me

Don't be surprised if it hails a good deal tomorrow. Blizzards and what-not. Being fine today doesn't Mean Anything. It's just a small piece of weather.

Starting to get in touch with your inner Eeyore?