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Using Sketchvideos for teaching: A demo focusing on conflict

My talented friend and colleague Susanne Hoogwater (also a lawyer and mediator) is very creative. Since she is a Renaissance Soul, I am constantly astounded and delighted at the new arenas she opens up for others and the products she designs. Recently I have become aware of a method she is using to facilitate teaching about conflict, and watched it in action.

And now you may watch a sample SketchVideo created by Susanne, too. It's part of a series on emotional intelligence and critical decisionmaking that she is designing for Denver's Conflict Center. This sample looks at four kinds of power: over, surrender, with, and within.

Click to watch the SketchVideo and to learn more about the benefits of communicating with this medium, as well as Susanne's process of creating these videos. She does it all on her iPad!

A few programs on how to resolve generational disputes, including one with author of MOM ALWAYS LIKED YOU BEST

Pattie Porter continues to offer valuable interviews related to conflict resolution. In April, she will be offering four related to conflict in families and between generations. Information below. (In February, I was pleased to be a guest on her program; links to listen to that program titled "Brains on Purpose: Traits and States to Shape Your Conflict Fate" are here.)

Pattie's upcoming programs:

April 2nd : The Magic of Elder Mediation
Guest: Judy-McCann-Beranger

Elder mediation can enhance family communication skills and change the face of health
care as we know it. It promotes dignity and respect and enhances the quality of life for all
concerned.

April 9th : Tending Our Broken-Open Hearts: Keeping Peace
Guest: Rose Gordon

We hope that we, and our family and loved ones will come together in the kindest ways
when someone we care about is dying. We hope the shared experience of loss will bring out
the best in us. But grief and loss brings all kinds of feelings to the surface.

April 16th: Got Conflict around Eldercare and Estate Issues? Here's a Guide for Resolution!
Guest: Arline Kardasis

Arline Kardasis, mediator, trainer and co-author of Mom Always liked You Best, will discuss this guide for resolving family feuds, inheritance battles and eldercare crises.

April 23rd : Can't Get Your Aging Parents and Adult Siblings to Listen? Learn How Conflict Coaching
Can Help
Guests: Carolyn Rodis
Guest Host: Steven Kotev

Learn how conflict coaching can help you change those dynamics to manage conflict and
communicate more productively with your aging parents and adult siblings.

Teaching with stories: Motivated by monsters or sparked by stars?

Some of us set goals or make choices based on what we don't want to happen, what we want to move away from; others of us are moved by what we want to attain, or move towards. In any given situation, some people are away-from aroused while others are towards propelled. This away from (prevention)/towards (promotion) preference is called regulatory focus; I have blogged about it before.

While doing some research on zombies and other kinds of monsters, I kept thinking of regulatory focus. If we learn from stories (see my last post which is about whether stories teach), then perhaps our regulatory focus would give a clue as to what kinds of stories are most edifying for each of us. Which stories are most influential are likely not one-size-fits all since we are not monolithic. The type of story that will motivate is probably situational, too: Brian may be motivated by a story about how he doesn't want his life to turn out when looking at finances, but by the story of someone who got it right in the arena of health.

Approaches such as Appreciative Inquiry and Solution Focused seek to find out what has worked in the past and move towards the future with those successes or assets in mind. Their stories don't invite or include monsters from the past. These methods seems to be towards/promotion focused and the stories are, too. The approaches are growing in popularity and who would argue with their spotlight on the positive?

Perhaps Professor Stephen Asma. He writes:

In a significant sense, monsters are a part of our attempt to envision the good life or at least the secure life. Our ethical convictions do not spring fully grown from our heads but must be developed in the context of real and imagined challenges. In order to discover our values, we have to face trials and tribulation, and monsters help us imaginatively rehearse. Imagining how we will face an unstoppable, powerful, and inhuman threat is an illuminating exercise in hypothetical reasoning and hypothetical feeling.

Click to read the rest of "Monsters and the Moral Imagination" (Chronicle of Higher Education).

When we seek to teach through narrative or story, should we include a mix of tales? Both of monsters or mistakes and of pioneers or progress? Look at what could go or has gone wrong, along with what can or has gone right? What do you think?

Note: Next month will see the publication of a new book on regulatory focus. The title is Focus: Use Different Ways of Seeing the World for Success and Influence.

Photo of Edd Nichols taken by Jim Havey.

Will you be attending the conflict coaching seminar in Denver?

A colleague and I are organizing a seminar to be taught in Denver by Dr. Tricia Jones; the topic is Jones's model of conflict coaching called Comprehensive Conflict Coaching. (Click to read about Jones's book on conflict coaching.) Earlier this week I sent out an email to several friends and colleagues about this and other events, and received back a number of unsolicited accolades about Professor Jones. After reading these emails with glowing reports, I am now even more excited to attend her program.

A short program description:

Conflict Coaching is an empowering, supportive one-on-one process to develop an individual’s understanding of conflict dynamics, and related interaction strategies and skills.

Conflict Coaching is a skill that supports leadership effectiveness, working with parties dealing with unresolved conflict, and as an alternative to expensive litigation.
 
Human resource professionals, managers, supervisors, educators, mediators, and attorneys will all benefit from this training.

Participants in the workshop will learn the key principles, stages and strategies used in the Comprehensive Conflict Coaching Model which is based on Dr. Jones’s research and extensive experience in the field.

The program in Denver will be 3 days long and will take place during one of these two times this year: the week of June 10 or June 17. We need to know very soon which of these dates works for most people interested in attending. Please email your preference here.

The attendance fee will be approximately $500 for the three days. Cost will vary slightly depending on the number of attendees. (Maximum number is 20.) Ready to sign up? Have some questions? Email Francine Campone. I hope to see many of you here with us in June!

Overview of one model: Comprehensive Conflict Coaching

Click to read a chapter from Conflict Coaching: Conflict Management Strategies and Skills for the Individual by Professors Tricia Jones and Ross Brinkert. The chapter gives an overview, including stages, of one model of conflict coaching, and includes the theoretical underpinnings of this particular model. The model is called Comprehensive Conflict Coaching.

Atul Gawande on how professions produce top-level performers and the difference between coaching and teaching

I've been away for a bit due to the illness of a family member, and hope to be back blogging more often soon.

Today I am happy to post the link to a talk by Dr. Atul Gawande; his presentation, given to Harvard Graduate School of Education, is titled "The Difference Between Coaching and Teaching." From the School Web site:

On Wednesday, October 24, HMS and HSPH Professor Atul Gawande applie[d] his observations from the fields of sports, music, schools, and medicine, to a discussion of how different professions produce top-level performers.

Enjoy his talk. Click to learn about Dr. Gawande's book The Checklist Manifesto.

H/T: Farnam Street.

Use a simple double axis chart to reconcile opposites and resolve disputes

Some factors, needs, desires, traits, goals that seem inconsistent can be reconciled with a simple double axis chart like the one I have drawn above. This reconciliation can occur among two or more people, or inside one person. The chart helps us to see the conflict or inconsistency in a more visual way, or, as I often say, to solve it pictographically. (Click for more about the pictographic path.)

Let's use the example of a child custody dispute between divorcing parents. One parent wants much predictability in the agreement and the other wants more flexibility. Put predictability on the vertical axis (the lines labeled "x" and "y" are axes) and flexibility on the horizontal. The goal might be to find a solution in box 3 which is high in both predictability and flexibility. Far to the right on the "x" or horizontal axis and high up on the "y" or vertical axis is represented by box 3, just as low in both factors would be box 1.

Often, the parents discussing and describing what each of the boxes looks like for the family will help to resolve the conflict. Perhaps they will tell stories about the future in each box. For example, as they describe how box 1 would play out in their children's and their lives, both parties will probably agree that is not a solution either would choose. The discussion though can bring clarity and understanding. Discussion of each of the boxes can be enlightening.

The double axis method can be used for individuals, too. Let's say you want to engage in both stillness

What's mood have to do with it? The role of Affect Infusion Model in making decisions

The field of psychology includes many, many models, the understanding of which can be helpful to lawyers in negotiation and in the courtroom, and to mediators in conflict resolution. Several of those models, including AIM, may have a role in some decision making. What's AIM? From Wikipedia's entry on Affect Infusion Model:

The Affect Infusion Model (AIM) is a theoretical model in the field of human psychology. Developed by Joseph Forgas in the early 1990s, it attempts to explain how mood affects one's ability to process information. A key assertion of the AIM is that the effects of mood tend to be exacerbated in complex situations that demand substantial cognitive processing. In other words, as situations become more complicated and unanticipated, mood becomes more influential in driving evaluations and responses.

For some practical tips about AIM, see "Change Psychology: Affect Infusion Model" (Change Psychology).

Some of the suggestions in the blog post ring a bit manipulative to me, but the post can help clarify AIM. Of course, you may choose how and if you use the Model.

Change Psychology has an entry on another nugget from psychology, also related to decision making: Affect Perseverance. Click to read the post. For a more complete explanation of the phenomenon, read "Affective Perseverance: The Resistance of Affect to Cognitive Invalidation" (Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin). From the article (cite removed):

Affective dispositions to objects and persons are difficult to change. Once an individual forms a positive or negative feeling, to a certain city, a model of a car, or a type of food, then that feeling tends to persist. Others may assail the individual with facts and evidence to sway the feeling—the pros and cons of the given city, the fuel efficiency of the new car, the voluminous calories of the food—but once formed, the affect tends to persevere.

As these examples suggest, the tendency of affect to persevere despite evidence to the contrary is a very common phenomenon covering a rich range of experiences. Feelings are often independent of facts and evidence and it seems to be the case that it is harder to change how a person feels than what a person believes to be true. ...

11 characteristics of a wise therapist: Perhaps of a wise mediator, too?

Below is a list of characteristics of a wise psychotherapist. The list was adapted from an article titled “The Role of Wisdom in Psychotherapy" (Journal of Psychotherapy Integration) for an article titled "Toward a New Paradigm for Multicultural Counseling" (Journal of Counseling and Development).

For a description of each of the characteristics, click here* and go to page 127. This list would make a good starting point for discussion in some kinds of conflict resolution training, don't you think?

Affective and Awareness

• Empathy
• Concern
• Recognition of affect
• Deautomatization
• Sagacity

Cognitive

• Dialectical reasoning
• Efficient coping skills
• Tolerance of ambiguity
• Perspicacity
• Problem finding and solving
• Metacognition

*This document was found on the Internet by doing a Google search on "Ability to cope with a wide range of people and life situations in an optimum fashion".

Conflict coaching seminar from the woman who "literally wrote the book"

An esteemed colleague of mine (who is also a friend and my go-to person on all things coaching) informed me of an upcoming seminar she is taking. I just may attend! Titled "Conflict Coaching: Conflict Management Skills for Leaders and Organizations," it will be held on January 12-13, in beautiful Santa Barbara. The program is being co-taught by Dr. Tricia Jones who wrote Conflict Coaching: Conflict Management Strategies and Skills for the Individual.

From the registration Web site:

Conflict Coaching is an empowering, supportive one-on-one process to develop an individual’s understanding of conflict dynamics, and related interaction strategies and skills.

Conflict Coaching is a skill that supports leadership effectiveness, working with parties dealing with unresolved conflict, and as an alternative to expensive litigation.
 
Human Resource Professionals, Managers, Supervisors, Educators, Mediators, and Attorneys will all benefit from this training.

Participants in the workshop will learn the key principles, stages and strategies used in the Comprehensive Conflict Coaching Model which is based on Dr. Jones’s the research and extensive experience in the field.

Are any of you planning to attend?