Mindfulness is built around the premise of disengaging from overly emotional responses and extraneous thoughts that clutter the mind's ability to think clearly. By using techniques such as breathing, visual imagery and meditation to slow down and focus on the present, the theory goes, a person can tap into a higher level of awareness. The more acute awareness is the byproduct of more active brain waves brought on by meditation, studies have shown.
Simply put, it's going from worrier to warrior, says Rogers, 45, a lawyer who conducts seminars for other lawyers and school groups.
''We want to move into a place where the outside world will do whatever it's going to do without us going through the roller coaster of emotions,'' Rogers says. ``We want to maintain this more alive, vigilant, present way of being that is somewhat independent of how things are going.''
I learned of a great new book today and immediately contacted the author Julie Hall (The Estate Lady). We had a wonderful conversation in which I asked her to pen a couple of guest posts. She said yes! What is this book that I think is such a valuable contribution to you if you are dealing with families and their estates, whether they be your clients or your own siblings and parents?
You've heard the horror stories: arguments over stuff . . . an inheritance lost forever when easily deceived parents are scammed . . . siblings estranged . . . an adult heir taken from daily responsibilities for months because of the enormous task of emptying a childhood home.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY FOR YOU.
The Estate Lady®, professional estate liquidator Julie Hall, knows what to do. Whether your parents are still alive or you're in the middle of a crisis, The Boomer Burden has solutions. Hall provides trustworthy counsel on how to:
divide your parents' estate with peace of mind
minimize fighting with siblings during the estate settlement process
clear out the family home in ten days or less
identify potential items of value in the home
have "that conversation" with your parents
prepare your own children for the future
The Estate Lady® offers guidance for any executor, heir, or beneficiary, sharing some of her most fascinating stories as well as helpful checklists of the things that need to be done now and at the time of your loss.
You will not forget this mind (and brain) song. In August, I posted a very short (under one minute) video from Idea Festival of Jeff Schwartz explaining the difference between the mind and the brain. Jeff's and my mutual friend Marcia Bauman (see her at left) and I decided to put his words to music. Marcia is an accomplished musician and composer so she was able to masterfully bring our scheme to reality. Listen now to the song. That's Marcia singing, too. Play it twice and you will be humming the tune all day. Not Dylanesque as the post title might suggest but memorable, don't you agree? Thanks, Marcia!
Just who is this musical Marcia? She is a composer, pianist, teacher and independent researcher in the relationships between music, consciousness and health. She earned her Ph. D. in composition from the Eastman School of Music, and was a Research Associate at Stanford's Center for Computer Research in Music and Acoustics (CCRMA).
Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, Marcia is a certified practitioner of the Helen Bonny method of Guided Imagery and Music (GIM). At the College of Marin, she teaches piano classes, and courses in both guided imagery and music and music for film. She also teaches piano and composition privately and offers individual sessions in GIM.
She and I are talking about collaborating on some songs about, well, ... just wait; you'll see.
Note (added February 7, 2012): In case you want to sing along, here are the lyrics:
The easiest way to understand The difference between the mind and the brain is that The brain is a piece of biological matter Protoplasm in your skull That's the brain It's a thing You can hold it in your hand It's a thing. Say it again (repeat)
The mind is your experiences And especially for scientific purposes Your attention and attention-focusing capacities So, what aspect and the way in which you focus your attention On your experiences
Each year, Idea Festival brings together some great thinkers. Here's the 2008 group. The organizers allow those of us not at the event to experience many of the talks. The first way you can participate is through the blog; bloggers summarize the talks for you. Examples:
I knew it was coming and recently told someone it would not be long before Paul Newman died but learning of his death still brings sadness. More here: "Actor Paul Newman dead at age 83" (New York Daily News).
As [George]Clooney himself told Men's Journal in 2000, "Nobody gets to be famous as long as Paul Newman. You can't take your eyes off of him. He's always interested in the scene, as opposed to trying to be interesting."
The blue-eyed devil, a onetime chain smoker who died at age 83 after suffering from lung cancer, considered himself more lucky than talented to have the career he achieved.
Especially since the Cleveland native ran off to Yale Drama School after his father died, mainly to avoid taking over the family's sporting-goods store.
"I had no natural gift to be anything, not an athlete, not an actor, not a writer, not a director, a painter of garden porches, not anything," the actor said in 1991. "So I've worked really hard, because nothing ever came easily to me."
What Newman did have a knack for was being one of a kind.
That he was!
Note (added later): Worth-reading tributes to Paul Newman:
Free online classes in stress reduction for people affected by the recent events in the financial markets are being offered by eMindful.com, a web-based mindfulness training resource, and Duke Integrative Medicine. Developed and taught by researchers at Duke Integrative Medicine, these classes are conducted in virtual classrooms where students can see, hear, and interact with live teachers and other students. Entering the virtual classroom is simple - and no software is required! Even novice computer users have easily accessed and enjoyed the eMindful classes. ...
The free classes will begin on Saturday, September 27th, and will be available periodically until October 10th at no charge. The courses are interactive and offer experiential exercises utilizing the techniques learned in class. Class times can be found at: http://www.emindful.com/schedules/MBSR.html
There was a time in the not-too-distant past where people lent a hand to each other just because… eMindful and Duke Integrative Medicine would like to lend that hand now.
The courses are called "Five Good Minutes Class for those affected by the Financial Crisis," "Learning to Manage Stress with Mindfulness Class for those affected by the Financial Crisis," and "Two-Hour Stress Reduction Class for those affected by the Financial Crisis."
How nice of them to provide this service! I have a feeling these classes will fill up quickly. If you are interested, you may want to register very soon.
Drawing inspiration from China, where farmers have practiced Tai Chi for centuries, we’ve enlisted the services of a Tai Chi Master to help teach our farmers a series of seven special moves - one for each day of the week. Now we want to spread wellbeing across the nation!
I must say that hearing the moos and watching the moves had a strangely calming effect. And I'd sure like to meet those dairy farmers! Must be some mellow folks. Got any clients who need to chill out?
Increased attention to disputes between siblings before, during, and after parents' deaths is naturally also focusing the spotlight on the role of mediation in these conflicts. Mediation can be very effective and useful at any stage; early intervention can be of extraordinary value. In this article "Legacy Planning" written by legacy coach Linda Somers, the author describes a process she calls family conference mediation. She writes:
A Family Conference is a useful method to pre-emptively deal with divisive issues that affect the family. The conference brings families together while the parents are alive to review the estate plan and to address potential painful conflict within the family. A professionally trained mediator assists the family in resolving issues about the estate and aims to reach agreement among all the participants. Mediation can not only prevent potential legal disputes, but is less costly than a court process in the unfortunate event of a challenge to the will.
Most importantly, mediation can help to strengthen relationships within the family.
The ways various mediators proceed in these prophylactic conferences may not be the same as that described by Somers, but their goals of saving families money, time, and heartache are the same.
In this legacy planning article, Somers also describes legacy coaching as another way for clients to "take charge of [their] legacy." And she offers four legacy principles.
Create a Hopeful Vision for the Future
Provide Meaningful Explanations of Your Hopes and Intentions
Approach Estate Planning as a Reflection of Your Values
Consider the Enduring Impact of Your Legacy on All your Family’s Generations
They are each explained in the article.
Thoughts, additions, feedback on the above post and the article? I would like to hear from you about these important topics.